Why I Love Living Alone

Someone on Instagram asked me recently if I could share more about living alone.

From the time I was 5 years old, I remember having roommates. And I remember always craving my own space.

When I was younger, my parents and I shared a small apartment with my late grandmother who was my best friend and, to date, the best roommate I’ve ever voluntarily had. Maybe I was more her forced roommate than she was mine 🙂

When my younger sister was born, by the time she was in kindergarten, we were roomies. We have a 7 year age difference, and we were always at different stages in life through all of the rooms we shared. We even had bunk beds at one point, which I do not recommend. Parents, spare your children. I love my sister to death, but love not rooming with her even more.

I had roommates and housemates all through college. Most were absolutely wonderful. Some, truly, heinously, awful.

After college, my older cousin and I shared a beautiful apartment in Philadelphia’s historic district. It was a gorgeous studio loft (yes, two grown adults in a studio w/ a loft). She slept downstairs, and I took the loft. It was a budget stretch and I had no privacy, and knew that my next move had to be a solo one. I was dying to have some space.

When August 2016 came around, I was nearing the end of my solo apartment hunt. I really only had 2 deal breakers: a roommate and a basement unit.

I landed in a 4th floor walk up (with so. many. stairs) in a charming old building in a studio that I absolutely loved, but quickly outgrew.

I had so many wonderful memories in that little apartment. I launched this rebrand, my YouTube channel and so many other projects on the couch in that living room. I fell in love in that apartment, and had my heart broken a few months later. I smiled and laughed and had my friends over for countless wine nights. I danced and danced and cried.

I learned more about myself in that apartment than I had in any other phase in my life.

In March of this year, I moved into an apartment that I seriously fall more in love with every day. I have space to grow even more than my studio. Room to create. To make more even more memories.

I love that living alone gives me the freedom to live however works best for me in the moment that I’m in. I can wake up early without worrying about my alarm disturbing anyone else. I can cook when I want. I can decorate how I want. Spend my “home” budget however I want. I’m a control freak at heart, and knowing the space I dwell in is something I have so much control over it super comforting to me.

When you have a roommate, it’s easy to ignore things because there are so many distractions. When I close my door at night, it’s just me and my feelings, my desires, my goals, raw and unfiltered.

I also love having the room and space to fail and feel how I want to. If I need to come home and ugly cry on the couch for hours, I can do so without having to worry about who’s around to see. If I try a DIY or piece of decor that doesn’t work out, there’s no pressure to fix it and get it right. There’s room for my sense of style and moods to change, and, most importantly, room for me to change as a person.

Living alone has also taught me so much about myself. Small things like how much I loathe doing both dishes and laundry and will go to extreme lengths to avoid both. And bigger things, like how much I enjoy being there for my friends by hosting them in my space. Or how therapeutic crying can be when I’m in a funk.

Personally, professionally, and creatively, living alone has been so great for me, but I know it isn’t for everyone. if you’re considering branching out into solo living, here are some tips that helped me make the transition.

Tips for Living Alone

Determine your “solo style.” Do you need a little company sometimes, or more constant companionship? I’m the kind of person who likes having small groups over from time to time, but cannot be constantly entertaining or throw big parties in my space. Seeing my apartment full of people (who lag and overextend their welcome) is stressful. If my apartment allowed it (and I worked a lot less), I’d definitely a puppy into the mix!

Find a space that meets all your needs. Living alone will quickly highlight how much you love or hate where you live. I absolutely love my apartment and love my neighborhood even more. I can walk to my favorite coffee shops and bookstores and my grocery store is just a few blocks away. If you hate your surroundings, you’ll spend all of your time at home miserable and not even have anyone to commiserate with!!

Figure out your mess habits! I don’t think anyone likes living in a dirty space, but some people are okay with more mess than others! When you live alone, it’s easy to get lax about cleaning and tidying schedules. Figure out how much mess you 1). regularly make and 2). are comfortable living with. Then make a routine and stick to it so you don’t have to spend half of your weekend cleaning up after yourself!

Take time decorating and finding your style. Especially if you’re renting!! I’m still finding my personal style and getting a handle on what decor pieces are the most me. Gather lots of inspo, save magazine clippings and images on Instagram and Pinterest and go bit by bit to make your space everything you want and need. I’m currently working on my living room and can’t wait until it all comes together.

Learn to enjoy quiet moments. One thing living alone has taught me is that every moment doesn’t need to be filled. It’s okay to just be. To sit and be still and enjoy quiet time alone. It’s made me more comfortable and courageous in doing other things alone and really value spending time with me. But it definitely takes getting used to, especially if you’re a super social person.

What’s your current roommate situation? Do you already live alone, or are you hoping to? And if you’re hesitant, what makes you nervous about it?!