Managing Anxiety: Resetting After An Anxious Day

I take a lot of pride in being good at things. I always have.

I was a pretty smart and curious kid growing up. I learned early on that if you focused and worked hard enough at something you wanted to do, there was a good chance that you’d become good at it. Showing up, doing to hard work and putting in effort aren’t just things I value, they’re a part of my personality type at this point in my life. And, subsequently, a part of my brand, too.

So whenever people ask what’s the hardest part of managing my anxiety, it’s that I can’t always focus enough or show in a way that allows me to be good at stuff I’m regularly good at. I can’t show up as my full self when my anxiety is doing it’s thing.

I had one of those days recently.

I was at work, and my heart was racing and my brain was jumping from scenario to scenario. The tasks I was executing were done in sprints of panic, nerves and fear. Even when I was crossing things off of my list, I felt so overwhelmed that it didn’t feel like I was making progress. I wasn’t being thoughtful, and because anxiety makes the scenes in your head so much bigger than the reality around you, it felt like everyone in my office could see me sinking.

It’s an awful feeling. And honestly, I also know how “privileged” (I use that word very loosely here) I am that my anxiety is high functioning, so as bad as those days feel, in actuality, they aren’t “that bad.” But I’m grateful that over the past few years I’ve gained the tools to help manage my anxiety, so that the next day doesn’t have to be as bad. That’s what I want to talk about today.

I feel the need to add, because responsible content creator, that I’m not a mental health professional and reading my maybe too honest, hopefully helpful blog is not a supplement for talking to a therapist or mental health professional. I only know what I know because of my own therapy journey. But therapy osmosis is not a thing!

When it comes to managing my anxiety and practicing self care, the number one thing I aim to do is get present. Because when you’re being smothered by anxiety, you’re so disconnected from the present moment. So here’s what I do to reset after an especially anxious day.

Wind Down

Because my anxiety is high functioning, I can be having an especially hard day on the inside but present totally normal. So it’s easy for me to leave work anxious and then go to an event or even speak on a panel, but it’s the opposite of what I need. Heading home to wind down, hydrate, rest and start to bring myself into the present, even though my mind is telling me to do more and “course correct” is vital.

Log Off

Whenever someone asks how I fell back in love with reading, I say it became such a helpful self care resource. Jumping into a fictional world for an hour or two helps me disconnect. If I’ve had an especially hard day, I put my phone away, turn the tv off, and try to let the quiet in my house become the quiet in my mind.

Write everything out

Seeing the things that are bothering me on paper are so helpful to process those feelings. I write out everything I felt, where I think I dropped the ball, the result I wanted instead. Sometimes, if I think I need to work those things out more, I’ll bring those pages to therapy. But usually, seeing it written out helps me realize things weren’t as bad as they felt.

Early bedtime + melatonin

Bedtime routines and managing anxiety (or depression honestly) go hand in hand. This is probably the most important thing, especially when my anxiety is work related. A key indicator that my anxiety is having a moment is a bout of insomnia. So after a bad day, to jump ahead of things, I try to take a melatonin around 8/8:30 and be asleep before 9:30/10. Never underestimate the power of a good sleep.

Wake up early

My body always seems to wake me up around 5am after that early of a bedtime plus melatonin. I’ll get up then, and just let myself slowly ease into a routine. Do some writing, journal, do some blog or YouTube work. Do a brain dump and get more rambling thoughts out of my head. Sit on the couch, drink coffee and pray or read a book. Having the morning to totally focus on myself and not have to rush and get ready for work is so helpful.

Make a plan

Managing anxiety, for me, involves a lot of planning. Before I go back to work, I’ll write down 2-3 things that I need to do to call the day “successful.” They don’t have to be big but they do need to be realistic and achievable (i.e “finish and submit a report” not “get promoted to VP and a $10k raise”). And aim for good, not perfect. 2/3 complete is good. 1/3 complete can be good, too.

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These things usually help me show up feeling better the next day. And if they don’t sometimes I just need to take a day off to do a little more work, which I finally see as more of a strength than a weakness.

I hope these tips help someone else as much as they help me!